General Rules, Penalties, and Conduct
Any part of the putter may strike a ball. Players must line up and take their first shot from behind the yellow marks at each hole. Players may putt from any point they choose in that area.
If a ball should leave the playing surface, all players may point at the offending player and laugh like a donkey on crack. The ball must be placed at the closest place to where it left the course.
Any ball putted in the hole must stay in the hole to be considered holed out. If a ball bounces out of the hole, it is not considered holed out and play must continue. The player is within his/her rights to bitch that he/she was robbed and that the hole sucks.
If a ball is struck twice, or while it is in motion, a one-stroke penalty will be incurred and the ball must be placed at the last spot from where the ball was putted. See? You play like a jackass and you get punished.
A player is entitled to move his/her ball the distance of the longest side of the scorecard from any brick. That is if you want to be a wuss. A real player would just suck it up, but you can move the ball. Wuss.
A player is not allowed to move his/her or her ball from any of the hills, angles or slopes that are covered by carpet. This goes even if no one is looking.
If a player's ball rolls all the way back to the starting point but does not leave the playing area, play will resume from that point. If a ball rolls off playing area, he/she may restart from the starting point. If this kinda thing happens a lot, you should consider playing better. Each player gets one do-over for a first shot rollback.
Should any question arise during play, play should be stopped immediately and the question shall be put before players at the current hole. If the players are unsure of the proper response to a question, then we'll just have to find a way to get on with our lives won't we.
All players are required to play their own rounds throughout the tournament. There shall be no player substitutions or switching involved once the tournament has begun. Any player involved in substitutions or switching shall automatically be disqualified from the tournament.
Show up to the course on time.
All balls and clubs utilized by players in the tournament are subject to the guidelines and approval of the Tournament Director.
Players shall not be permitted to switch clubs or balls at any time during the tournament unless they think the club or ball has some seriously bad mojo on it. Any player who switches clubs or balls without audibly saying, "It's not me it's this goddamned club," or something to that effect will be playing dirty.